Josh Killam, LPC
What can Therapy be for You?
If you are here reading this, then it is safe to assume that you are already on your self-discovery journey. One of the more challenging parts of starting on the path to finding yourself is gaining awareness. An awareness about yourself that might say something like, you are not all that you could be, or your life is not all you know it could be. It is often not entirely clear what you want out of life or who you want to be. It is quite often an uncomfortable place to be. However, there comes a time when you sense a knowing or a feeling that you are not quite where you are not entirely living up to your potential. There is usually some intuition or hunch that nudges you. Often times, it can come to you as a voice in the back of your mind. Usually says something along the lines of "you know that's not right, right? you know, you could be better." One that I frequently hear, "I do not deserve to be treated this way by myself or anyone else." Regardless of how you gained the awareness at one point or another, you acknowledged that you are not all you want to be. With that awareness, you have decided to do something different. If you are reading this, you have already taken steps to find your truth.
I see gaining self-awareness as a vital step on your journey to becoming you because we are rewarded for our "non-stop" lifestyles in our society. You are celebrated when you can maintain a 50-60 hour work week, raise kids, and "appear" to be thriving from an outsider's perspective. The go-go-go mindset, always moving and trying to achieve, is what helps you stay 2-3 steps ahead of your truth. What do I mean by that? The mindset of today's society keeps you running on momentum. Always moving from one thing to the next. This way of life does not allow for time to reflect or turn inward. As a result, you set yourself up to be ignored. The problem with ignoring your needs is that they will let you know that you neglect them through suffering, i.e., anxiety and depression. Running on momentum and impulse is in part why you tell yourself, "I can't make time for me." You chalk it up to "I am too busy, I will take care of me tomorrow," and of course, tomorrow never comes. We live in a society of avoidance, and society rewards you handsomely for not taking care of yourself. For the most part, connection and validation come from social media interaction. People are often reacting to the "best version" of you because why would you post anything but the "best version of you. Usually, the love and feedback you get from social media feel empty because it conflicts with how you genuinely feel.
As human beings, we can compartmentalize our hurt to the point that we are not emotionally aware of what we need. Sprinkle that with the empty love we get for our online persona, you get a recipe for emotional neglect. I would go as far as to say that you are not aware that you have unmet needs. When your needs are not recognized or ignored, the only thing you are left with is impulse. A life of momentum fueled by impulse can lead you to feel lonely and unfulfilled. You do not know how to slow down long enough to listen to which of your needs are not being met. All of which can lead to you feeling isolated and unloved.
And with the loneliness and anxiety, you find yourself looking for a therapist who might be able to tell you what's wrong with you or help you fix yourself. Not that getting a therapist to solve your problems is what psychotherapy is about, but we won't get into that now. As I said at the beginning, you have reason to feel proud of yourself. You are already on your path to solving your problem. So, what can you expect our work to look like? To use the words of a mentor, "some therapists are tour guides, others are companion travelers." I would consider myself a companion traveler with you on your journey to discovering your truth. If you have been dancing the therapeutic dance for a while, then I imagine you have heard the phrase "I consider you to be the expert of your own life." I would agree with that sentiment and would add a bit to this idea. Yes, I believe that you are the expert of your own life, and I think your map and compass might need to be adjusted. It is one thing to "be the expert" of yourself; it is entirely another thing to know how to follow your compass and read your map. My hope is that your work with me will lead you to orient your map in a way that leads to activate your potential and learn to listen to your compass.
What is my map? What do you mean by compass? How do I learn how to read my map? These are questions you might ask after reading this.
Well, the short answer is- your compass is your conscience, and the map you are navigating is your aim (ambitions, goals, expectations) in life.
As your companion traveler, I will walk alongside you, offering insight and observation while attempting to draw out your map and realign your compass.
I look forward to joining you on your path to Becoming You. If you would like to reach out with questions or to schedule an appointment click here.
-Your truth as you choose to express it.
Josh Killam, LPC